Anne's Blog

     There is a funky-looking, trendy, minimalist little Ramen restaurant up on Broadway that I have wanted to try out. On Saturday night, I went to the Ramen restaurant with 2 friends with whom I often go out to eat. It is a very small place that seats, maybe, 25 people. My friends often pick me up in there small truck but I live only a couple blocks away from this particular place and it was a gorgeous night so I walked and met them there.  I can't even pronounce correctly what I had to eat but it was Vegan which is why I selected it.  It had in-house made ramen noodles in it, some really good mushrooms and surprisingly delicious seared cabbage. I don't like cabbage but I like to be open-minded and it was very good prepared that way. We ate a very good, simple dinner and they gave me a ride home. When we left Shio, the Ramen place, we walked by the open door of the Uptown Arts Bar to get to their truck. As we walked by, I looked inside hoping, maybe, to see so...

 I recently finished what I thought was a reread of "My Antonia" by Willa Cather. In retrospect, I realize that my memory was faulty. I was thinking of "O Pioneers" which I did read several years ago. "My Antonia" is a story about homesickness. I had a hard time reading it because it made me feel sad about how homesick I have felt at times. I have been gone from Minnesota for 10 years now and my ties to it, while still significant, are diminishing. My mother is gone for one thing. She was the anchor for all of us; an amazing, selfless woman of discerning intelligence. My dad still lives in a suburb of St. Paul as do two of my three siblings. But, all 3 of my own sons live here in Kansas City. Maybe, this is my home now.

     I hadn't seen him in months and, yet, there he was; He was sitting at a bar stool right in front of me as I walked into the bar. Perversely, I remember focusing on his earrings. It seemed like he had a new one but I never asked him about it after we reconnected.  I had always liked them on him.  And, he was wearing the army coat whose pockets smell deeply and deliciously of pot. A couple times, I wore only that coat to make us grilled cheese sandwiches. I wore the coat again recently but I did not make grilled cheese sandwiches while doing so. He let me wear it to walk home from the bar sometime in April or early May when it was cold. It seemed to have a lot of pockets like cargo pants.  One of my sons used to count the pockets in his cargo pants when he was little. I never counted the pockets in the army coat.

Sometimes, in life, we cannot be prepared for the things that ultimately connect us and give our lives meaning and, when the connection is with a ghost, it is doubly difficult to accept and trust the course that is being laid out for us. The ghost always seemed to be hovering on the periphery of my life these days. Sometimes, I didn't know if I was actually even seeing her. She is a ghost afterall.  But, the day I came home to find her eating grilled cheese with Simon, I sat down and joined them.

 It is a gorgeous early September day in Kansas City. Inexplicably, I have had 3 days off in a row. At first, I was worried because that many days off causes a severe cash shortage but I made my piece with it.. Three days of doing nothing but thinking and cleaning and taking Yoshi, my little Chihuahua, for nice walks has been wonderful. Also, I now know for sure what my 3 cats and Yoshi do during the day when I am at work. They sleep.