Anne's Blog

I just walked to the store wearing what I thought was a weird assortment of clothes; printed blue leggings from Family Dollar that I usually wear for yoga, a light blue corduroy H&M skirt, an old, gray, H&M sweater that I hope lasts forever because it is at once stylish and comfortable and, last but not the least, a light blue H&M beanie to cover my bald head. It's hard to admit that I'm bald. I do feel really sad about it and what it means. I looked at myself in the mirror before I left home and wondered if I should put my wig on. What if I run into someone I know? Will they recognize me or will they just see a cancer patient? Then, I looked at myself again in the mirror. I hardly recognized myself so I doubt anyone looking at me would know it's me anyway. Today, I feel safe going incognito and not wearing my wig. I recently saw an ad for a trendy store. It featured a beautiful model wearing a pair of beautiful, tailored pajamas with a long-sleeved top and shor...

I saw him from the side at the end of a long, telescoped tunnel. GPS probably could not pinpoint the location as there was too much gray matter in the way. His posture reminded me of Rodin's "The Thinker" but he lacked the musculature and the quiet confidence of that sculpture. He seemed defeated but how would I know that with there being so much gray matter in the way. It just seemed that way. Was that a screen behind him and this was a projection from somewhere else? He was in shadow? What wasn't in doubt was that I knew who he was. As I walked across the parking lot yesterday afternoon , I remember thinking about how I was forever changed by what grew inside of me. I was never going to be free of it. I would never walk across that parking lot completely free ever again. Then, I remembered another time by that parking lot. He told me to "Come Here". I ignored him and I walked home alone even though it was 2 am on a hot, summer night. That either made it mo...

Today, while waiting for the bus, I heard a summer sound and smelled a summer smell: I heard a lawn mower start up and smelled freshly cut wet, green grass. It's March 16th, chilly outside and in my heart. I look across the street from the bus stop and even at the grass under my feet at the bus stop.  The grass has become green and shed it's crispy, brown palette. Looking @ the trees, I can see that, although there are no leaves yet, minute buds are emerging. The world has been greening up when I wasn't paying attention; The audacity of life.

Have you ever heard the saying paraphrased here,  "Enjoy the little things in life . . . One day you will look back and realize they were the big things".  Taking a walk with Yoshi is a metaphorical expression of this.  He is a little dog and, on nice days like today,  likes to take his time on his walks. I, actually, derive a lot of pleasure from letting him take his time. He is a sweet little dog who asks for very little except, well, maybe, lots of deli turkey, his favorite treat. Walking him makes me wonder why I always feel so pressured to get somewhere . . . To get home . . . But why? There is nothing and no one waiting for me there except 2 cats. Today, I made myself look at 2 leftover winter twigs lying on the sidewalk as we walked. Neither one was very long. One was possibly 4 inches in length placed in the middle of the sidewalk parallel to the edge. The 2nd one was about 2 inches to the right of it and it was about 5 inches long. It was slightly off parall...

Oranges in March Are just as delicious as Oranges years ago